Resilience is not endurance
Newsflash. You are not a machine. You do not need to recharge your batteries. You cannot upgrade your software, reboot, power up or power down. You are a beautiful human and part of a complex ecosystem.
Creativity and resilience require an undulating pace, rhythms of rest and recovery. We have thousands upon thousands of research papers that prove it. We know it, but we don’t do it. And then, worse, we feel guilty for not doing it.
We have a huge body of research showing the remarkable relationship between self-compassion and resilience. We know that when we practice self-compassion we reduce stress, anxiety and self-criticism and increase our optimism, confidence and resilience. This means we can overcome setbacks, set healthy boundaries and focus on the work we need to do in the world.
Self-compassion can act like a trip-switch that resets us to a calmer, more thoughtful, considered and intentional place.
This can look like a small and ordinary shift, but it's subtle and powerful. For example, it's when...
- We notice that a fraught meeting has left us drained, so we take a walk, re-set and talk through what to do next.
- We notice that checking emails at night gets our heads spinning, so we delete the app and read a book in the bath so that we sleep better.
- We notice that we are snappy and impatient with people interrupting us, so we set a clear boundary around our thinking time so we can be more present with others.
- We notice that everyone around us feels overloaded, so we step back together and review what our team is not going to do for the next quarter.
These things sound so easy, but it can be difficult to practice self-compassion when we've had a lifetime of pressing on, cracking on, pushing on through.
So, I often start with this simple message from Harvard psychologist Dr Chris Germer, who says “a moment of self-compassion can change the course of your day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life”. What is the tiniest moment that could change the rest of your day today? Could you give yourself permission to do just that? And change the path of your one sweet life?
